Starting again

Yet again, I am starting. Starting to write after a long time of not writing. It is strange to pick yourself up again and begin on something you really wanted, this time, to manage. Returning to it somehow seems to mean to me that I didn’t manage. But that is also okay. “Managing” to do something, perfectly, uninterruptedly, without pause is probably not in the cards for me – whether the task at hand be doing the dishes every night, or speaking kindly and without complaining, or drawing every day. But to stop returning to these things “because I will mess up yet again” is the real defeat. Inconstant, halting attempts net more in the end than perfect plans — a fact that I have a truly incredibly hard time convincing myself of. Well, maybe this time, I’ll manage.

Laundry Detergent

Laundry detergent. I’m making this kind with borax, washing soda, and Fels-Naptha. I like the way it cleans, and the way it makes gallons upon gallons of detergent. And the way Fels-Naptha smells. I sat on the couch, grating up the bar of soap. You

Mmmm, pretty

should try this recipe someday, if only for the fun of grating the soap. It has such a soft, waxy texture, and makes the most perfect curls. Don’t grate your fingers if possible, though I haven’t managed to figure out how to avoid it. Cooking the soaps together fills the house with clean smells and looks very much like a witch’s cauldron, especially when they come to a boil. I also realized about half-way into dissolving the soap that I don’t have a 5 gallon bucket. So I measured cups of water into a trash can, which, it turns out, holds 5 gallons! So now, laundry soap making not only makes cheap detergent, it gives my trash can a much needed cleaning. I promise, I cleaned the thing out before actually putting the detergent in…

The Right Way

I’ve been reading. Reading a lot of blogs about marriage and family life, homemaking and child-having. And having a lot of opinions about them, largely because said blogs are highly opinionated about how one ought to go about the aforementioned things. Which leads me to ponder – which things are worth believing “my way is THE way” about? Perhaps some are, and it is a kindness and an act of grace to point them out to others. But I think it might be worth my own while at least to accept that some ways of living, while they aren’t right for me, might be right for others.  I realize that this sounds extremely relativistic, but honestly, does there have to be one correct way to do everything? Do some fundamentals not suffice? So, with that in mind, I am going to embark on discussing my own experiences. Beginning, I think, with making laundry detergent.

(Also, I realize that I’m also telling people how to do things…but avoiding hypocrisy is not really my best skill)


Walking around my neighborhood today, I realized how lovely I find desolate, run-down, and broken things, though at the same time, I have a great interest in restoring and cleaning. Here is a sample of the images I collected while walking: 




I am feeling drained today, which is not helpful for any kind of productivity, especially for working on the paper that is swimming around in my head without any fast place to rest. A page of writing would be the place for it. I wish I weren’t so exhausted by life, that just one hitch could derail my whole course of action for the day. But there is a little sun outside, and a bit more time to write, and hope that God can sort us and refine us, and make us stronger through the things that throw us. I apologize for the simultaneously sad and vague post, and hope the ramblings of this girl get at least clearer and hopefully both clearer and cheerier. Au revoir for the moment, mes amies!


Well, I think I would like to return to the blogging world. Doing anything with regularity has been a challenge to me for … my whole life, I think … and perhaps this time it will stick. Or maybe not. But at least it will be a small step in that direction. For today, I will leave you with a thing that is giving me joy today. I spent part of the afternoon celebrating the fourth Sunday of Advent and also decanting homemade eggnog into these wonderful jars:

There’s something amazing about those snappy lids and the creamy (and highly alcoholic) liquid they contain. With that, have a wonderful last week before Christmas, and I look forward to joining you again soon!

Poetry Collage Prayer

Literature is not just beautiful; sometimes it also says exactly what I want to — or ought to — say.  Here are the two bits of poems I’ve been praying over the past two months:

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still.
The first stanza is from the Robert Frost poem, A Prayer in Springtime
and reminds me to enjoy the part of life I'm in right now. 
The other quote is from T.S. Eliot's Ash Wednesday, and reminds me of the balance 
between trying one's hardest and placing the end results in God's hands.

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